Funny Stuff

A newly divorced woman is strolling along the beach, disappointed about how horribly the divorce settlement turned out for her. As she’s walking, she spots an old lamp half buried in the sand. Hopelessly, she picks it up and rubs the lamp, and to her surprise, a genie appears! The genie notices she is upset and lets her vent before proceeding to grant her three wishes. He, however, cautions her that he is not a fan of divorce, and will give her ex-husband ten times of whatever she wishes. She…

Live from London’s free-thinking comedy club

The day after his wife vanished in a kayaking accident, Long, a man from Anchorage, opened his door to find two serious-looking Alaska State Troopers standing before him. “Mr. Wilkens, we regret to inform you that we have news regarding your wife,” one trooper began. “Tell me! Did you find her?” Wilkens blurted out, anxiously. The troopers exchanged glances. One spoke, “We have some bad news, some good news, and some fantastic news. Which would you like to hear first?” Bracing himself, a pale Mr. Wilkens responded, “Give me the…

A 17-year-old boy, who works part-time at Pizza Hut, pulls up to his house in a stunning Porsche. His parents are immediately suspicious, knowing there’s no way his after-school job could have paid for such an expensive car. “Where did you get that car?” they shout, astonished. “I bought it today,” the boy replies calmly. “With what money?” his mom demands. “We know how much a Porsche costs, and there’s no way you can afford it!” The boy shrugs. “It’s used, and I got a great deal. I only paid…

Patient to his doctor: “I have forgotten so many things lately, and it’s getting worse. What can I do?”Doctor: “Yes, this is a known illness, unfortunately it has no cure. On that note, I’d like to remind you about the $800 that you owe me.” #joke #short #doctor Read more on page

Wine-making had been banned, and under strict surveillance, anyone caught making wine was executed. When grape harvest season arrived, a Bektashi began filling large jars with grape juice. Informed of this, the sultan came to the Bektashi’s place and angrily asked: “Why are you filling these jars with grape juice?” Caught off guard, the Bektashi nervously replied, “I’m filling them so they’ll turn into vinegar.” The sultan, softening a bit, said, “You say vinegar, but what if it turns into wine?” Seeing the sultan’s softened demeanor, the Bektashi smiled and…

I went to the dentist for the first time in 5 years. The dentist asked me when I last flossed. I told him “bro, you were there!” #joke #short Read more on page

A 60 year old millionaire got married with a 20 year old model. When his friends asked him how he did it, he said: “I lied about my age.” They then asked: “Ah, so you said you were 40?” He answered: “No I said I was 90.” #joke #short Read more on page

A man walks into a bar and orders a glass of 21-year-old whiskey. He takes a sip, then immediately spits it out. “I asked for a 21-year-old whiskey! This is only 18 years. I’m not paying for this! Bring me a 12-year-old cognac instead.” The bartender complies, but again, the man spits it out. “This is only 10 years old! I’m not paying for that either!” Frustrated after several rounds of the same routine, the bartender pours another drink and says, “This one’s on the house.” The man takes a…

Little Johnny rushes inside, out of breath and shouts, “Mother! Mother! Give me some money for the poor old man that’s shouting along the road!” His mother replies, “What is he shouting?” “Ice creams! Come get your ice cream…” #joke #short #mother Read more on page