Funny Stuff

A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. The bartender points to a sign that says, “NO JOKES SERVED HERE” and asks them to leave. They head out without a word. The next day, a horse walks in. Same deal—bartender points to the sign, and with a long face, the horse leaves. The following day, a chicken walks in. The bartender points to the sign again and says, “Sorry, no jokes served here.” The chicken, annoyed, asks, “Fine, but where can I get a drink?” The bartender…

I don’t worry about Friday the 13th. It’s bad luck to be superstitious. On Friday the 13th, I dreamt that a horse in armor was chasing me. It was a Knightmare. What’s the scariest thing to do on Friday the 13th? Check your bank account. Read more on page: 22 Friday The 13th Jokes Whats a good pasta to make on Friday the 13th? Fettuccine Afraid-O. I don’t have to be Freddie Krueger… to be the man of your dreams. Monday the 13th sounds much worse than Friday the 13th.…

Live from London’s free-thinking comedy club

A young boy walks into a barber shop, and the barber leans in and says to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch and see.” The barber then places a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, calling the boy over and asking, “Which one do you want, kid?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “See what I mean?” the barber says. “He never learns!” Later, as the customer is leaving, he notices the same boy coming out of an ice…

A guy gets bitten by a zombie but he hasn’t completely turned yet. The end of his finger fell off so he handed it to a non-infected man saying, “This can happen to you, now run!”Before running, the appreciative man looks back and says, “Thanks for the tip!” #joke #short Read more on page

“Doctor, I have a son who thinks he’s a chicken,” said the man.“Why don’t you bring him in for treatment?” asked the doctor.“We need the eggs,” replied the man. #joke #short #doctor #animal #chicken #food #egg Read more on page

Child: “Mom, may I have a bicycle for my birthday?”Mom: “Will it make you behave any better if I do?”Child: “No, but I’ll behave over a wider area.” #joke #short #mother #mom Read more on page

While a man was overseas fighting a war he received a “Dear John” letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. To add injury to the insult, she said she wanted back the picture of herself that she had given him. So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find. In…

Live from London’s free-thinking comedy club

A man is at the airport counter checking in his luggage. The man said to the agent, “I’m flying to Los Angeles but I would like this bag to go to Portland, this one to Albuquerque, and this one to Sioux Falls.” The agent looked suitably shocked and said, “Sir, there is no way we can do that.” “Why not?”, replied the man, “You did it last time”. #joke Read more on page