FOR THE EXPAT IN ALL OF US!
A page dedicated to laughter! The AWOL newspaper had a regular jokes page, Area 555 (the number five is spoken as ‘HA!’ in Thai) and this is a logical extension of that to include jokes, funny pictures, cartoons, videos or anything else that might make us laugh. Please note that some of the content on this page may contain bad language or what some might be offended by, so proceed with caution if you are easily offended or sensitive to certain topics. All of the material on this page is produced by other sites on the internet, so direct any complaints to the original source (clearly shown on each item) and not to AWOL.
Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says “I’ll have a glass of h two o”. The second says “I’ll have a glass of h two o too”. They both get a glass of water because the bartender isn’t a moron, and anyway what kind of bar even keeps hydrogen peroxide let alone sell it by the glass? #joke #short Read more on page
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea – one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, “I’m fed up with being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn’t have any worries about being eaten.” A large mysterious cod appeared and said, “Your wish is granted” and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified,…
He takes a sip and then spits it out. “I asked for a 21-year-old, this is 18 years! I’m not paying! Give me a 12-year-old cognac.” The bartender serves him, and the man spits it out again. “This is only 10 years! I’m not paying!” The bartender starts getting frustrated. After more and more drinks with the same reaction, the bartender serves another one and says: “This one’s on the house.” The man takes a sip and immediately spits it out. “This tastes like piss!” “Now tell me, how old…
Live from London’s free-thinking comedy club Find Jonathan here @jonathankogancomedy
I really enjoy hearing all of the national anthems played at the Olympics. I love country music. In this hot weather, I find the best way to keep cool is to strip off and stand in front of an open refrigerator… Now I’m banned from Asda, Sainsbury’s and Morrisons! Me: No. Son: Hmm. I feel like maybe you’re not committed to that no.I’m gonna ask 684 more times to be sure. My wife had a few glasses of wine and was yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t…
A college professor was giving a big science test. Upon collecting the tests she noticed a note attached to one of them with a $100 bill underneath it. The note read, “One dollar per point please.”The professor returned the test the following with $40 and a note attached. The note read, “Here’s your $40 change.” #joke Read more on page
Guy’s sitting on the couch. From the kitchen he hears, “Babe…. can you help me?” He goes to the kitchen. “What are you doing?” She says, “I’m trying to do this jigsaw puzzle.” “What’s it supposed to be?” he asks. She picks up the box. “A Rooster.” “Honey,” he says. “Let’s put the cornflakes back in the box…..” #joke #animal #rooster #food #honey Read more on page
I saw a coupon for a discount on a vasectomy.
I clipped it.
What happens when a police officer gets into bed?
He becomes an undercover cop.
As we were putting out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, I accidentally dropped one. "No problem," I said, picking it up and dusting it off before placing it back on the plate.
"You can't do that," argued my four-year-old.
"Don't worry. Santa will never know."
He shot me a look. "So he knows if I've been bad or good, but he doesn't know if you dropped a cookie on the floor?"
