Funny Stuff

A woman opened her door to see two policeman standing there. “Mrs Smith? I’m afraid that Inhave some bad news for you? Your husband was at work, at the brewery, and it seemed that he fell into one of the cats of beer and drowned.” Mrs Smith fell to her knees, clutching at her chest. “Tell me, officers, did he suffer at all?” “We don’t think so, Ma’am. He got out five times so that he could pee.” #joke #policeman #animal #cat #drinks #beer Read more on page

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So he decided to sit on the porch with his shotgun and check each guy out to make sure they were suitable for his daughters. The first guy arrived and said, “hi there, my name is Eddy, I’m here to pick up your daughter Betty, I’m taking her out to get some spaghetti, is she ready?” The farmer looked him over and decided he was ok so he sent them on there way. The second guy showed up and said, “hello, my name is Joe, I’m here to pick up…

Ever wonder what the definition of MATH is?M… MentalA… AbuseT… ToH… Humans #joke #short Read more on page

My coworker said: “ You should not eat red meat.” I said, “My grandmother lived to be 97.”… She said, “Did she eat red meat?” I said, “No. She minded her own business.” #joke #short #food #meat Read more on page

How did the octopus defeat the shark?He was well armed! #joke #short #animal #shark #octopus Read more on page

National Nut Day is celebrated annually on October 22. Celebrate it with some jokes! What did one nut say to the nut it was chasing? “I’m a cashew!” Why did the nut go to the doctor? It was feeling a little nutty. What do you call a nut that sneezes? A cashew! How do you make a walnut laugh? You crack it up! Why did the peanut get in trouble? It was acting like a real nutcase. What did the pecan say to the walnut? “We’re friends because we’re both…

My girlfriend isn’t talking to me because apparently I ruined her birthday.Not sure how I did that…I didn’t even know it was her birthday! #joke #short Read more on page

A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store clerk called 911 when she saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment. Do…

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a very attractive woman waving at him. She says, ‘Hello.’ He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he asks, ‘Do you know me?’ To which she replies, ‘I think you’re the father of one of my kids.’ Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife. So he asks, ‘Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table, with…